Warrior Cat Show
by flash6004
Summary: Flashheart and Owlstrike have been stranded at a T.V. show! They got one chance to be on the Warrior Cat Show, but can they survive on it? DISCONTUINED!
1. Getting To Know the Show

**~Hello! I am Flash6004. Some of you may know me… mostly not. Call me Flash. I'm random and crazy.~**

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><p>"<strong><strong>Thank you, Phil. Now its time for…" a tabby was saying, dressed like Dr. Phil- "DR. BORING!"<strong>**

Dr. Boring turned and sat in his chair. "Today," he said in his boring voice, "We will be talking to… Leafpool."

Suddenly, instead of Leafpool, a flame-colored she-cat with a white underbelly walked in. She had a white T-Shirt on, cute black short-shorts, black boots. A dark blue-and-silver cap on that said: "FLASHHEART" on it in bright gold letters. Her blue eyes sparkled.

"Hey!" she said. The crowd clapped, confused for a few moments.

"I'm Flashheart, Dr. Boring," she announced and sat down in the chair.

Dr. Boring, confused, nodded and said, "Now, today, we are going to send in some people that could trigger your nervous system. Do you understand?"

Flashheart, seeing just how many matches she had in her pockets, turned and said, "What?"

"Ok. Now, please welcome Nightcloud," Dr. Boring groaned.

Once again, instead of Nightcloud, a light brown tabby she-cat walked in. She had a striped black-and-green hoodie on, with jeans. One of her ears were ripped.

"Hi!" she squealed. "I'm Owlstrike!"

Flashheart turned and glanced at Dr. Boring. _Why is my best friend here?_

Owlstrike sat down.

Dr. Boring yelled in his boring voice: "WHO IS LETTING THESE COMPLETE STRANGERS IN!"

A dark gray tom, dressed in a black shirt with dark jeans, poked his head out of the curtain. He had headphones on, and was kinda muscular. He had two black stripes on each of his legs. "Sorry, boss! My old roommates from Warrior High begged to come in," he said.

"Twilightfur? OMSC! YOU WORK HERE!" squealed Owlstrike.

Twilightfur nodded and then said, "Yeah, Darkbird does, too."

As though summoned, Darkbird walked out of the curtain. He was a black tabby tom with dark forest-green eyes. He had a Abercrombie-and-Fitch red T-Shirt on, with some jeans. He was listening to his iPod. "Hey!" he said.

Dr. Boring turned and said, "We'll be right back."

As Dr. Boring walked away, Flashheart said, "Wait, dude!"

He turned. "Uh, yeah-" she kicked Owlstrike. Owlstrike perked up and said, "Um… me and Flashheart kinda sorta have no way of getting back to our Clan… so… Can we please have a job here?"

Dr. Boring said, "NO."

"_Well,_" spat Flashheart, "Wait until my brothers come and save me."

Dr. Boring took a sip of coffee randomly floating in the air and said, "Oh, really?"

"Yes, really. And I can summon them!" She said. Then she started screaming at the top of her lungs: "DEMONHEART! LIONSTAR!"

Silence.

_**At Flashheart's Clan…**_

"Lionstar! I think Flashheart is trying to summon us," Demonheart said. Lionstar looked down at him and said, "Ugh, again?"

"Dude, she needs to grow up," Lionstar said.

Demonheart sighed, "It seems we agree. So we do nothing and tell mom she was eaten by bears?"

"Ok."

_**At the studio once more…**_

"That's it?" Dr. Boring asked.

Flashheart said, "Please get us a job! I'll do anything except manual labor!"

Dr. Boring took a sip of coffee again and said, "Fine. You can…"

His gaze trailed off to where one of his co-stars, Jayfeather, was having a seizer.

"-You have to watch Jayfeather," Dr. Boring then said and walked off.

"Easy as skydiving," Flashheart said and the two she-cats walked over with sticks.

"What do we do?" asked Owlstrike.

"Hmm. He needs a drink!" Flashheart said and grabbed a bottle of water, shoved it down a seizer's victim Jayfeather's throat, and watched as he choked.

"Maybe he needs a bath?" Owlstrike suggested and grabbed some lighter fluid from a table. She poured the lighter fluid on the tom and watched.

Nothing happened.

Well, a lot happened, like there was a robbery in Utah and then there was a fire in Jamaica…

"I bet he's cold," Flashheart said, grabbing a match from her pocket and lighting it. "Whoops!" she dropped said match and it landed on Jayfeather.

He was lit on fire.

"Now what?" Flashheart asked.

"I don't know."

"Well, we have to think of something."

"… You grab the marshmallows and I'll get the chocolate?"

"What about the crackers?"

"Crackers are stupid. You can use chocolate like a cracker."

"So very true."

Flashheart then walked around in search of the marshmallows. Her search ended soon when she noticed a handsome dark brown tabby tom with golden eyes pouring coffee.

His nametag said "Bearclaw".

Where'd he get a nametag?

Flashheart walked up to Bearclaw and said, "Well, _hell-oo._"

Bearclaw looked her up and down and said, "Hrmmth. Your that new cat, right?"

Flashheart replied, "I can be anything you want me to be."

Bearclaw took a step back and said, "O-K. Anyway, I need you to go and pull all of the loose fur from the showers."

Completely forgetting her best friend and the ooey-gooey marshmallows, she nodded and said, "Ok."

She then let Bearclaw lead her to the washroom. Inside were showers, two toilets, and a sink.

"Have fun, _minino_," Bearfang said and walked away.

"Oh! He knows Jamaicanish, too!" squealed Flashheart, grabbing a mop and day-dreaming.

Suddenly Darkbird walked in and said, "A) That wasn't Jamaican. It was Spanish. And Two) Aren't you supposed to be in your own Clan?"

Instead of saying, "Yes I am, but me and Owlstrike forgot to pay the mafia our bill for flying us here, we are currently stuck here and we need help." She said, "Your crushing my dreams!"

Darkbird was tearing up and he screamed, "WELL! I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP!"

_Issues,_ ****Flashheart thought and then she stepped in some gum.****

"OH NO! MY BEAUTIFUL BOOT IS RUINED! WAAAAAAH! I PAID FIFTY BUCKS FOR THIS BOOT! AND THIS ISN'T EVEN GUM! ITS TOBACCO! HOW'D TABACCO GET IN A BATHROOM!" she screamed.

Flashheart then walked out of the washroom, and ran into some cat. "Hey, watch it!" she hissed.

The cat turned and she found herself staring into beautiful emerald eyes. Flashheart snarled, "GET OUT OF MY FACE!"

The pretty cat with perfect dark mottled fur and pretty white ears said, "Oops, I'm sorry." Flashheart eyed her suspiciously. The new cat had a long, flowing white skirt and a black tank top on. She had a gold purse and pretty golden high-heels on.

Flashheart said, "Who _are _you?"

"Well, I'm Leafspot, of course," the she-cat said.

Flashheart screamed, "OMSC! YOU ARE A FRICKIN' SPOTTEDLEAF-WANNABE!"

Leafspot turned and said, "Like, whatever! I do need a, like, prissy wanna-be me cat following me around all, like, day."

Flashheart grinned and said sarcastically, "Yes, cause, like, I'd, like, wanna, like, follow, like, you, like, around, like, all, like, day, like."

Leafspot started filing her claws and said, "Like, see what I'm, like, saying?"

Flashheart said, "Wow. Your stupid, and that's coming from _me_."

Then she turned and stalked towards the direction of Dr. Boring. "Dr. Boring! I need a loan," Flashheart said.

"Why?" her boss asked.

"Duh! I need to kill Leafspot by buying this-" she held up a magazine that had a picture of a bazooka on it- "The Instant Kill 5,000!"

"No," Dr. Boring growled and walked off to do his show.

Flashheart had not known it, but she had just stepped into the world of show, as though she would learn.

Or would she.

What do you think? You could be a crew member if you'd wish.

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><p><strong>Application:<strong>

**Name:**

**Fur/Eye Color:**

**Personality:**

**Clothes:**

**Rank: (co-host of Dr. Boring, helper, backstage-person, or just someone that shows up from time to time)**

**Team Flashheart or Team Dr. Boring:**


	2. WAFFLES WILL ENSLAVE US ALL!

**New Cats:**

**Fallenlight- (sent in by Ruined Rose) - black she-cat with one gold eye, one amber eye. Wears a black strapless dress with a red rose in her ear and silver sandals, shows no emotions and says creepy/emo things from time to time. Is a helper**

**Lightfall- (also sent in by Ruined Rose) - beautiful white she-cat with golden eyes. Wears a creamy white strapless dress with a blue rose in her ear and light yellow sandals. Light-headed and cheerful, can't feel pain, and is very protective of her sister, Ruinedheart. Is a helper**

**Flamepelt- (sent in by Flamepelt1996) - red tom with red eyes. Wears a T-Shirt and jeans, and is really random. Is a helper.**

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><p>Flashheart and Owlstrike were sleeping in the washroom; Owlstrike was curled in the sink, and Flashheart was asleep on the floor.<p>

Suddenly a black she-cat and a beautiful white she-cat walked in. The black she-cat had one gold eye and one amber eye, with a black strapless dress and a red rose in her ear, with silver sandals.

The white she-cat had gold eyes, with a creamy white strapless dress with a blue rose in her ear and light yellow sandals.

"Who are you!" the black she-cat hissed.

Flashheart opened an eye and yawned, "We're the newest cast members."

The white she-cat turned and yelled, "Flamepelt!"

A red tom with red eyes walked in. He had a T-Shirt and jeans. "The waffles shall enslave us all!" he screeched.

Owlstrike opened her eyes and said, "Who are you?"

"I'm Lightfall," the white she-cat said cheerfully, "This is Fallenlight-" she pointed at the black she-cat- "And the tom is Flamepelt!"

"Someone's a little cheerful," mumbled Flashheart under her breath.

**Later…**

Dr. Boring arrived soon after. He was dressed in his dull clothes and his dull glasses.

In other words, boring.

Flashheart, whom was mopping, saw Bearclaw walk in after Dr. Boring. Bearclaw tapped a wire on the floor and said to Dr. Boring, "Dad, the wire is unattached. We could be electrocuted."

Flashheart said dreamily to herself, "He knows such big words."

Then it hit her. _Dad_!

"You're his father?" Flashheart snapped to Dr. Boring.

Dr. Boring clasped his paws together and said dully, "Yes, well-"

"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!" Flashheart screamed to StarClan above.

Bearclaw looked at her and said, "Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they start to-"

"I know that," Flashheart growled.

Dr. Boring said, "Flashheart, darling, go make us some coffee, please."

Flashheart hissed and outstretched her claws, then nodded and stormed off towards the break room. Flamepelt was there, screaming and running around in circles.

"Hey, Flame, wazzup?" Flashheart asked as she poured coffee.

"WAFFLES WILL ENSLAVE US ALL! WAFFLES WILL ENSLAVE US ALL!" he screamed, rocking back and forth in fear.

Suddenly Twilightfur walked in and said, "Flashheart, here. These always keep him quiet."

He tossed her some magazines. She read the title: SCS: BLACKSTAR ADDITION.

"What does SCS mean?" she asked.

"Duh! 'ShadowClan Savages.'" Twilightfur said.

Flamepelt snatched the magazines away from her. She opened the door and then she hissed, _"You!"_

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><p><strong>AN~ You can still send in cats. Oh, and Flamepelt, if you don't want your cat THAT crazy, I'll sane-him-up.**


	3. The Phantom: Part 1

**New Cats: (I really enjoyed the Phantom of the Opera, creative!)**

**Ruinedheart (sent in by Ruined Rose) - red tabby she-cat with gold eyes. Wears a pink strapless dress and a pink rose in her ear, she's very innocent and cheerful, has lots of energy, likes to help other cats, and loves her sisters very much. She's a helper. (sisters: Lightfall and Fallenlight)**

**Sandtail (sent in by Sandtail) - light brown she-cat with a bushy tail and amber eyes. Wears a black leather jacket and jeans, with black sunglasses and a random pink bow in her tail. She's random and crazy, loves ShadowClan, loves the pairing BlackXRusset, and is in a relationship with Viperstrike (read Flash's other stories and you'll know) She's also a cat that shows up randomly from time to time**

**Nightstrike/Half-Face (sent in by Wildheart the Warrior) - a jet-black tom with a white underbelly, chest, and paws with ice-blue eyes. Wears a suit, a cape, and a Phantom of the Opera-style mask. He's a mad genius. He thinks he IS the Phantom of the Opera, so he dresses like so and acts accordingly. He is prone to the fits of insanity in which he laughs like a maniac, throws stuff, and shouts random things. Though he is crazy, he acts normally; though he knows he's crazy and is proud of it. He's obsessed with Ivypool. Is a co-host.**

**(also, I LOVE IVYPOOL AND BLACKSTAR AND ROSES!)**

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><p>Flashheart was starving. It had been around three hours since her last meal, some sushi.<p>

Suddenly she turned and screamed loudly: "SANDTAIL!"

The light brown she-cat turned and said, "HEY, ITS YOU, FLASH!"

"I go by Flashheart now," Flashheart replied happily, "What are you doing here?"

Sandtail opened her mouth to reply, but then there was a creepy: _"Death will swallow us all."_

Flashheart turned and saw Fallenlight in the shadows. "Oh, so what's-" Suddenly Ruinedheart (Flashheart met her recently) walked over and said, "Flashheart, there's a strange noise coming from the washroom!"

"Sandtail, wanna go for adventure-" Flashheart began but saw that Sandtail was gone. Shrugging her shoulders, she walked towards the washroom with frantic cats behind her.

She did hear it: "The Phantom shall rise again, for the Phantom of the Opera never dies!"

She screamed and jumped back, yelling: "SCRIPTED ACTING!"

She took a broom that was randomly next to her and slowly walked into the washroom. A jet-black tom glared down at her, he was almost invisible in the shadows. His white half-mask glowed eerily.

"None shall hinder the Phantom!" he yowled and then knocked her on her side.

"OH NO! I'M TOO FAMOUS TO DIE!" she shrieked.

The strange, half-masked tom pressed a claw to her throat and demanded, "I am Half-Face, the Phantom of the Opera, Nightstrike."

"W-w-w-what?" Flashheart gasped. Then she remembered: she had matches in her pockets. Moving her paw slowly, she grabbed a match and lit in on fire, throwing it at Half-Face.

Half-Face dodged and it hit the wires. They both watched as the flame sparked on the wires… and when Flashheart turned around, she saw that Half-Face was gone and Owlstrike was eating a banana beside her.

"I'm just as confused as you are," Owlstrike said, "Who's banana is this, anyway!"

Flashheart dived and screamed, "HIDE!"

Just as she screeched it, an explosion went off. Flames and random objects flew.

One of these said objects was Ivypool, though she was dressed as a ninja.

Weird.

Flashheart saw Ivypool do a pretty cool dive and land beside them. "Grab onto the rope," she hissed, "If you want to live."

Flashheart thought, _I've died three times, but not like this! Not like this! _

So she turned and grabbed the rope, Owlstrike right next to her. Then there was a black shadow and Flashheart was knocked out…

**Cliffy… Who is their savor? Why was Ivypool dressed like a ninja? Where did Sandtail go? Questions that will be answered… now.**

Flashheart opened her eyes. She saw Owlstrike lying next to her, and Ivypool was standing over her.

She screamed. _This _Ivypool was made of wax.

And then there were pictures of Ivypool all around her… as much as she wanted to run away, she was tied down. There was a black shadow and she was terrified out of her mind (her mind was mostly dull anyway) …

**:3 CLIFFY!**


	4. Whatever

**NEW CATS:**

**Azuraclaw (sent in by Silvytabitha) - Black she-cat with a white front left paw and amber eyes. Wears a denim top with denim shorts, has an iPod, headphones, and lace-up sneakers. She's funny, hilarious, and insane. She's a co-host**

**Techheart (sent in by Silvytabitha) - brown tabby she-cat with green eyes. Wears a blue Maintenance outfit and a cap that says TECH in big bold letters. She's funny, strick, and uses long words. Likes Dr. Boring and is the tech engineer**

**Snowfur (sent in by Silvytabitha) - white she-cat with blue eyes. Wears a white T-Shirt that says in whitish pink letters "THE HELPER" and a short light pink skirt and pink high heels with a matching pink bag. She is posh, snobby, rich, and stricked.**

**Badgergrowl (sent in by Rory's Greatest Fan) - a black-and-white tom with green eyes. Wears jeans and a T-Shirt. He's super happy and is always smiling. He's a co-host.**

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><p>Flashheart saw the Phantom fly towards her. He snarled, "My dear, I shall not harm you." Then he dipped his head back and laughed like a maniac, and believe me, Flashheart knows.<p>

Suddenly there was a loud: "NOT ON MY WATCH!"

There was a flash of black-and-white, and then there was a black-and-white tom with green eyes and jeans with a T-Shirt standing there. He snarled at the Phantom, "Stay away from the hostesses!"

The Phantom snarled, "Badgergrowl, you traitor!"

Badgergrowl snarled, "No, I'm doing what's right." Then he grabbed a lantern and chucked it at the Phantom.

The Phantom hissed and flew into the shadows; the lantern hit them.

Badgergrowl turned and glared at the two she-cats.

"Well? Get up! I know the way out of the attic!" Badgergrowl hissed at them. They got up and raced after the tom as he dived into the side of the wall. It broke, revealing the studio.

"We're ok," Flashheart announced but gasped: three new she-cats were standing around Dr. Boring.

Dr. Boring saw them and said, "Meet your replacements. Azuraclaw, Techheart, and Snowfur."

The three she-cats smiled at them. Flashheart turned and nodded to Twilightfur and Darkbird, and they came to stand beside them.

Flamepelt, Sandtail (randomly appearing), Ruinedheart, Fallenlight, and Lightfall walked over and stood beside Flashheart and Owlstrike.

Azuraclaw and Snowfur joined them, along with Bearclaw.

The three cats left were Techheart, Dr. Boring, and Leafspot.

"UPRISING!" Flashheart yowled and they shoved the three cats into the washroom and locking it.

Flashheart then turned around and said, "I am now the leader of the studio! Be afraid, be very afraid."

She then looked around at the studio. "Time to graffiti!"

**LATER**

Flashheart smacked the camera. "Ok, Azuraclaw, hit the music!"

Azuraclaw grabbed a baseball bat and started smashing some records.

Flashheart said, "No, play the music."

Azuraclaw said, "OOOOHHHH!" and then started playing _International Love. _

Flashheart then turned back to the camera, "Ok, the new show is now called… uh…"

"Gangsta?" suggested Badgergrowl.  
>"Flashheart and the Cats?" asked Flamepelt.<p>

"The Show?" Sandtail piped in.

"Whatever. That's it! Whatever! Ok, now beginning the first ever taping of Whatever!" Flashheart said.

"What do we do?" began Sandtail, but suddenly there was a loud crash.

Snarling, Flashheart screamed, "EAGLEPAW! THAT BETTER NOT BE MY WEAPONS!"

Eaglepaw's voice replied: "Uh… no, that wasn't it!"

Flashheart grabbed a hammer and chucked it at the nearest object. Unfoundedly, that nearest object was Darkbird.

Suddenly a young black-and-silver tom walked out from the newly blackened kitchen. "That wasn't your weapons. I was trying to catch some rats in the kitchen-" began Eaglepaw, but Flashheart said, "RATS IN THE KITCHEN? LIKE THE MOVIE!"

She then raced in and saw a pack of rats gnawing away at the kitchen. She grabbed one and said, "Can you cook?"

The rat replied something in a squeak, and she said, "I'll take that as a no. THEN YOU DIE!" She then turned and said, "Owlstrike, get the gun."

"There is no gun!" Owlstrike yelled from the Gangsta Room.

"Then get me the TNT!" Flashheart screamed.

"THERE IS NO TNT! We only have samurai swords, grenades, and lots of knives!" Owlstrike reported.

Flashheart sighed and said, "Fine, get me a boom-potatoes."

Owlstrike poked her head in the kitchen and said, "Dude, what?"

Darkbird walked in (his face was cut) and said, "Flashheart means a grenade." He handed her one and she chucked it at the rats. "HIDE!"

Flashheart dove and slammed into Azuraclaw and Badgergrowl in the process. She slid under a beanbag and put her fingers into her ears.

When she opened her eyes again, the kitchen was blasted to bits and Dr. Boring's voice from the attic screamed, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

Badgergrowl was smiling and he said, "We'll be having scorched rat for dinner!"

**Sorry if not as funny!  
><strong>**Flashheart: Yeah, that's all YOUR fault!  
><strong>**Me: Knock it off, cyber-cat!  
><strong>**Flashheart: *gasp* Oh, you went there.  
><strong>**Me: Ugh, shut up. *shoves Flashheart behind her* Anyway, so send in things that could go wrong and more cats, if you wish.**

**WHATEVER CREW**

**Lead-Hosts:** Flashheart and Owlstrike

**Co-Hosts:** Badgergrowl, Eaglepaw, Azuraclaw, Half-Face (from time-to-time),

**Helpers:** Lightfall, Flamepelt, Ruinedheart, Snowfur

**Cats That Randomly Show Up:** Sandtail and Bearclaw

**Backstage Cats:** Fallenlight

**Real Warriors:** Breezepelt, Lionblaze, Tigerheart, and Hollowflight

**ATTIC CREW**

Dr. Boring, Techheart, Leafspot.


	5. Jelly Donuts and Ice Cubes

**New Whatever Cats:**

**Goldfeather (sent in by Wildheart the Warrior) - Golden tabby she-cat with white patches and green eyes. Wears a pretty blue floral sundress and a small white bow and a small white bow to her ear. She's shy but sweet, tries to be as nice and polite to everyone. But when she gets angry, she goes into a huge rage and becomes a fiery, forceful she-cat. Shockingly she is not afraid of Half-Face and is one of the few cats that can get him to behave himself. She has a *gasp* crush on Half-Face though she won't admit it. Her rank is that she shows up from time to time.**

**Luna (sent in by The Flower Bookworm) - Black she-kit with long silver streaks and silver eyes. Wears a black top with the picture of a moon on it, silver skirt that lets her tail only just poke out, has a silver iPod, a silver 3D DS but mostly it isn't with her, she hides it. She has silver studs for earrings and also has a long silver coil of rope over her shoulder which she uses frequently. she likes tying people up with rope, then taking them either to her room, or taking them to the other side. She will even tie up her own team mates. But apart from that, she's quite cool, and well not really calm, but calmer than most shall we say. Often appears from nowhere. Her sister always shows her up, which she hates. But surprisingly they still get along. Hands her victims from her team, likes to sip Honeyed Water. Is a co-host.**

**Duskfire (sent in by Silverwing) - ginger tom with white paws, muzzle, tail-tip, and green eyes. Wears a long-sleeved green T-Shirt and black skinny jeans. A scardey cat that always runs around when he sees his shadow, etc. He's mostly scared of everything, and that makes many cats annoyed.**

**New Dr. Boring Cat (s)**

**Solar (sent in by The Flower Bookworm) - white she-kit with golden streaks and gold eyes. Wears a white top with a shining sun on it, gold skirt, gold iPod, gold 3D DS, and long gold coil of rope over her shoulder. Doesn't tie people up like her sister but when her sister brings her victims, she will add her rope to make them secure. Solar is pretty much brilliant at everything she does, and is always lording it over her sister. She says her sister picked the losing side, and with her in Dr. Boring's side who can blame her. She is extremely hot, and most cats fall in love with her at first site. She is a born leader, and everyone looks up to her, but she can be quite spiteful to Luna sometimes. Apart from those times and the times she's lording it over her sister, they get along quite well. Likes to stay in the spotlight. Instead of honeyed water prefers mint water.**

* * *

><p>Flashheart was singing: "You spin my head right round, right round when you go down, when you go down, down. You spin my head right round, right round when you-"<p>

"FLASHHEART!" Eaglepaw yelled.

Flashheart opened an eye from her singing and handed her iPod over to Twilightfur. "Sorry," she grinned sheepishly, "Uh… yeah, so, uh…"

Luckily Owlstrike popped in front of the camera and began, "Today we have three new cats! Introducing…" Drum roll… "GOLDFEATHER, DUSKFIRE, AND LUNA!"

The said cats walked out. Darkbird drooled once he saw Goldfeather, and Twilightfur forgot how to speak. Eaglepaw shook his head and growled, "We'll be right back."

**IN THE ATTIC… OF DOOM!**

Leafspot was complaining and filing her claws at the same time. "Like, its too, like, dark in here, and like, I can't even see my, like, beautifulness!"

"Allow me," came the haunting yet calm voice of the Phantom as he lit a lantern.

Solar and Techheart sat down as Half-Face flew towards the shadows, his white half-mask glowing eerily. Dr. Boring stood and said, "Half-Face knows this place better than anyone. We shall prepare, then we will-"

Half-Face hissed, "They are playing music!"

"We WILL DESTORY them!" Dr. Boring yowled.

**AT THE GANGSTA ROOM!**

"Today we will be having a party because… well, I missed New Years and I WANT TO PARTY!" Flashheart screamed.

Suddenly confetti fell and music played.

"Azuraclaw, crank up the tunes!" Flashheart yowled.

"I don't get why you like the Tunes so much, but here," Azuraclaw said and turned on Looney Tunes.

Flashheart muttered to herself, "Why is she DJ again?"

Luna said, "Ok, look, Azuraclaw. Turn on Party Rock."

"WILL DO!" Azuraclaw squealed and turned on LMFAO.

"Party rockin' in the house tonight, everybody just have a good time…"

Suddenly the attic shifted with a groan. Everyone was quiet, and Duskfire screamed and started running in circles.

Flashheart took out a sword and gazed at the attic angrily. Suddenly Sandtail was at her side, and she said, "I'm just as confused as you are."

They glared up and suddenly Goldfeather gasped. Beside her was… was…

"THE PHANTOM!" they all screamed and hid behind tables and chairs.

Goldfeather said, "Nightstrike, _sit down now!_" Half-Face did as he was told.

Flashheart shakily asked, "W-w-why does he listen to you?"

Goldfeather shot her a look that said, _Shut up or else Half-Face will attack you. _

Wait. Is there even a look for that?

Flashheart whispered to Eaglepaw, "Be very, very quiet." Eaglepaw whispered back, "No, I'm just gonna scream at the top of my lungs-"

Suddenly Dr. Boring flew down, snatched up Goldfeather, and retreated back into the attic. The Phantom yowled, "We shall make thee tremble in fear!" and then he, too, flew into the shadows of the attic.

"What are we gonna do?" wailed Duskfire.

Flashheart grabbed an army hat and said, "What do you think we're gonna do? We are going to march in there and get Goldfeather back!"

Eaglepaw said, "Um… I think we should hire a professional first."

"A professional pretzel-maker?" asked Flamepelt.

"No," Eaglepaw said, "A general. A professional general."

* * *

><p><strong>WELL! YOU HEARD HIM! WE NEED A GENERAL!<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>THAT NIGHT… PLANNING…<strong>

Flashheart shoved forward some dice that represented them. The jelly donut represented the enemy. "Ok," she said, "We'll take our forces forward and then BAM!"

Hawkfrost and Lionblaze, who had joined the force earlier, ducked. The selected lead-cats (from each person that sent it in), a.k.a. Flashheart, Eaglepaw, Flamepelt, Luna, Duskfire, Sandtail, Badgergrowl, Azuraclaw, and Goldfeather would have been there if she wasn't cat-napped, watched intently.

Hawkfrost said, "I have some cats that can help us."

Flashheart said, "I could kiss you if you weren't engaged to…" Hawkfrost gave her the Look and she said, "Oh, right. I won't tell."

Hawkfrost then said, "Besides, we ditched her wedding."

Lionblaze high-pawed him and said, "Get on with it."

"Well, daddy said he was joining some 'force', so I got Thistleclaw, Firestar, and Sandstorm to come and help us!" Hawkfrost squeaked.

Thistleclaw popped his head up from the table. Firestar and Sandstorm stood.

Eaglepaw said, "Hey, Thistleclaw! Hiya, Sandstorm! Hi, Firefart!"

Firefart gasped, "What!"

Flashheart said, "Well, you can't be leader in this. _I _am leader. Hey, Hawkfrost, why can't Brambleclaw come?"

"Uh…" Hawkfrost stammered. Sandstorm said, "He was hit by lightning!"

Hawkfrost's eyes darted back and forth and he said, "Yeah."

"Anyway, so they will attack-" Flashheart said and moved the jelly donut- "But we will crush them. I mean, like, there's a lot of us and only four of them."

Everyone was quiet.

Flashheart wondered what was wrong with her plan. Then she remembered she had said _crush, _so she slammed her fist into the jelly donut. Everyone cheered. Firefart said, "But I'm leader."

"Not until I receive my nine lives!"

**THE PLANNING IN THE ATTIC…**

Dr. Boring moved the grapes the represented them. Then he shifted the piece of ice that represented the enemy. "So they'll be stupid and come to us," he said, "And we'll melt their lines!"

All four of them were silent.

Then the ice melted and everyone cheered. Suddenly Tigerstar slid from the shadows, his pale eyes narrowed. "You need helpers," he said.

Then he clapped his paws and Bluestar (off her pills), Scourge, Ashfur (I believe he belongs there), Darkstripe, Mapleshade, and Clawface walked out of the shadows.

"BAHWAHWAHHAW!"

**A/N: What will happen? Will they win? Will they save Goldfeather? Will I ever stop asking questions? Will we get a general? Why are jelly donuts evil?**

**WHATEVER CREW**

**Lead-Hosts:** Flashheart and Owlstrike

**Co-Hosts:** Badgergrowl, Eaglepaw, Azuraclaw, Half-Face (from time-to-time), Luna

**Helpers:** Lightfall, Flamepelt, Ruinedheart, Snowfur

**Cats That Randomly Show Up:** Sandtail, Bearclaw, Goldfeather

**Backstage Cats:** Fallenlight and Duskfire

**Real Warriors:** Lionblaze, Hawkfrost, Thistleclaw, Firefart, Sandstorm

**ATTIC CREW**

**Leader: **Dr. Boring

**Henchmen: **The Phantom, Leafspot, Techheart, Solar

**Real Warriors: **Tigerstar, Darkstripe, Scourge, Ashfur, Bluestar, Mapleshade, and Clawface

**Random Warriors That Flash Just Now Made Up: **Coalfang, Antwhisker, Frogleap, Twoface, Yellowtooth


	6. The Battle

**New Cats of the Whatever Crew:**

**Cloudsong (sent in by Isis Warrior) - pretty white she-cat with blue eyes and a blue splotch on her fur that she got from painting, she thought it was cool and kept it. Wears ripped at the end short-shorts, a black shirt with a fake red tie, red high tops, has an iPod always with her, and has a nose piercing. She's a rocking BFF cat, she's always there, loves music and dancing, fun and awesome. She's a co-host.**

**Cinderstar (sent in by XxGorgestarxX) - gray she-cat with darker ears, feet, and muzzle with a white tail-tip and bright blue eyes. Wears ripped skinny jeans, blue uggs, and a blue Hollister T-Shirt. She's spunky and determined to complete any task she is working upon. She's a helper.**

**Pebblecloud (sent in by Random Falcon/Silverwing) - gray-brown she-cat with black stripes and brilliant green eyes. Wears no-sleeves red T-shirt with brown shorts and a silver bracelet. She's stronger than Duskfire, and is his littermate. So she has to watch him even though she is younger than him… also when Duskfire speaks, he mutters alien gibberish. She's a co-host.**

**Splashkit (sent in by Rory's Greatest Fan) - white tom with ginger splashes and green eyes. Wears a white top and orange trousers. He's loud, noisy, and energetic. He shows up from time-to-time.**

**Thornshadow (sent in by Galefire) - black tom with thousands of scars, huge claws, and dark green eyes that glow red when he's angry. Wears a black gangster hoodie and baggy pants with rips in them. He's emo, tries to kill everyone, very sarcastic, NEVER nice or funny or kind. Backstage is his rank.**

* * *

><p>Flashheart licked her lips clean of jelly donuts that she had eaten.<p>

Eaglepaw said, "Thornshadow, Splashkit, Cloudsong, and Cinderstar are all here."

"HI!" squealed Splashkit loudly. Thornshadow glared at her, Cloudsong waved, and Cinderstar gave a nod.

Flashheart walked up to them and said, "Thornshadow, you 'ought to come in handy."

"Really?" Thornshadow said sarcastically.

Flashheart rolled her eyes and said, "Cinderstar… hmm. You look pretty strong. Splashkit, you're crazy, so you can fight. And Cloudsong- hmm… you look like you can handle a gun."

Flashheart put on her army hat and said, "Now, today we may loose lives. But that's ok, because, well, I'll be just fine! And now-"

Sandtail raised her paw.

"Yes?" Flashheart grumbled. "I invited Blackstar."

Blackstar grinned up at her. "Ugh," she muttered, "Let's fight NOW!"

**THE ATTIC**

Goldfeather was hanging upside down in the attic.

"I told you, jelly donuts are good, not evil!" Dr. Boring slapped the donut box out of the Phantom's paws.

"Well, good sir, what be evil?" Half-Face spat.

"Cotton candy, grilled cheese, and BLTs!" Dr. Boring said.

Goldfeather could not take the sheer stupidity of this and yowled, "Girls, girls, your both pretty! Can I go home now?"

**WHATEVER CREW AGAIN**

Luna and the others were gathered around Flashheart. "Now, attack!" she screamed.

The real warriors were doing the "traditional" warriors fighting, but Flashheart took out her knife and attacked Dr. Boring.

Cats were screeching and shooting machine guns. Bluestar was slamming cats' heads against each others.

Dr. Boring slammed her face against the dirt and kicked her. Suddenly, OUT OF NOWHERE, Badgergrowl flew forward and slashed at Dr. Boring.

Flashheart's eyes closed.

_"Flashheart."_

She opened her eyes and saw a mysterious, orange tom walking towards her. He had large, white paws and white splashes on his muzzle.

"Hi, Thunderstar!" squeaked Flashheart.

A black she-cat with green eyes walked over and meowed, "Don't forget Shadowstar!"

Shadowstar said, "It isn't your time to die."

"Wake," said Thunderstar.

Flashheart opened her eyes and saw Dr. Boring, holding a sword against Badgergrowl's neck.

"HIYA!" Flashheart screeched and stabbed Dr. Boring's neck with her knife. Dr. Boring fell, dead, against the floor.

Yeah!

The Dr. Boring warriors glared at Flashheart, but they stopped fighting. "Go back into the attic, and never return," Flashheart hissed.

They did so.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry for it being so short. But next chapter, Flashheart becomes Flashstar, leader of… Whatever. Put in some StarClan warriors to give her nine lives, and I'll figure out what traits.**

**WHATEVER CREW**

**Lead-Hosts:** Flashheart and Owlstrike

**Co-Hosts:** Badgergrowl, Eaglepaw, Azuraclaw, Half-Face (from time-to-time), Luna, Cloudsong, Pebblecloud,

**Helpers:** Lightfall, Flamepelt, Ruinedheart, Snowfur, Cinderstar,

**Cats That Randomly Show Up:** Sandtail, Bearclaw, Goldfeather, Splashkit

**Backstage Cats:** Fallenlight, Duskfire, Thornshadow

**Real Warriors:** Lionblaze, Hawkfrost, Thistleclaw, Firefart, Sandstorm, Blackstar

**ATTIC CREW**

**Leader: **Dr. Boring

**Henchmen: **The Phantom, Leafspot, Techheart, Solar

**Real Warriors: **Tigerstar, Darkstripe, Scourge, Ashfur, Bluestar, Mapleshade, and Clawface

**Random Warriors That Flash Just Now Made Up: **Coalfang, Antwhisker, Frogleap, Twoface, Yellowtooth


	7. The Nine Lives

**StarClan Cats: (I hope you know them)**

**Yellowfang**

**Spottedleaf**

**Sunstar**

**Runningwind**

**Snowfur**

**Oakheart**

**Rustedstar (sent in by Isis Warrior) - rusty ginger tabby tom**

**Mudclaw**

**Russetfur**

**New Whatever Cats:**

**Hailstorm (sent in by Wildheart the Warrior) - buff, pale gray tabby tom with amber eyes. Wears black denim jacket that he leaves open, revealing a spotless white T-Shirt, black cargo pants, boots, and keeps a lint roller in his pocket. Despite his manly… er, _tom_ly appearance and name, he's a wuss. Though on the outside he remains a courageous air, really threaten him and he'll beg for mercy. Very fussy about his appearance, and he hates getting dirty or ripping his clothes. Remarkably strong, and would be good in battles if he wasn't such a wuss. He's backstage.**

**New Attic Cats:**

**Roseshadow (sent in by Random Falcon/ Silverwing) - cream she-cat with rosy red splotches and bright green eyes with yellow flecks in them. Wears a white bolero and a light orange shirt inside it with black swirls and a silver mini skirt with ruffles. She's very gullible and believes just about anything. She mostly spending her time mooning over ANY tom, and someone has to shake her or snap her out of it. She's usually in her own world, and hallucinates.**

* * *

><p>Flashheart and her patrol were climbing towards the Moonpool. Her patrol (made up out of Owlstrike, Hailstorm, Sandtail, and Cinderstar) panted behind her.<p>

"So, what happens when I get there?" Flashheart asked.

Cinderstar said, "I don't know. I was just born with the suffix -star."

Finally they reached the Moonpool. Flashheart was supposed to drink from the water, but instead she raced forward and screamed, "CANNON BALL!"

With a splash, she landed in the water, swam back to the bank, and passed out.

Fun.

_"Wake up, Flashheart."_

Flashheart opened her eyes and saw the ranks of StarClan walking around her.

The first cat to walk forward was a rusty ginger tabby tom, Rustedstar.

"Hello," Rustedstar said, and touched his nose against Flashheart's head, "With this life I give you potatoes. Use them to soothe your hunger." Then he turned and dropped a sack of potatoes at her paws.

She nodded her thanks and the next cat up was Sunstar.

Sunstar touched his nose to her head and meowed, "With this life I give you a RAZR, so you will always be able to stay in touch with your friends." He handed a black RAZR to Flashheart.

She said, "Wait!"

Sunstar turned, and she meowed, "What's your number, as thanks?"

"555-SUN-STAR," Sunstar replied thoughtfully, and melted into the crowd.

The next cat was a cat that Flashheart had wanted to strangle, and this cat placed her perfect nose perfectly and said in her perfect, perfectful voice, "With this life I give you a Ferrari, so when you go to battle, you'll always be in style."

Then Spottedleaf turned around, snapped her claws, and a pure red Ferrari appeared next to Flashheart.

The next cat was Yellowfang. She walked up and she then said, "With this life I give you sarcasm, and you'll know when to use it."

Fire burned in Flashheart's stomach, and she farted. "Sorry," she said, "I had a burrito."

"Dream well," Yellowfang said.

Flashheart nodded and said sarcastically, "Thank you, _Smelly_fang."

But Yellowfang had already gone away.

Runningwind was next, and he raced forward so fast that it gave Flashheart a 5 second heart attack.

"With this life I give you Internet access to your RAZR," Runningwind said, "So that you may look yourself up on Fanfiction."

Then he took off running as fast as possible.

Snowfur was next. "With this life I give you a bunny!" Snowfur squealed and handed her a fuzzy bunny.

It had white fur and a little pink nose. "MR. FUZZIKINS!" exclaimed Flashheart.

Mr. Fuzzikins sniffed Flashheart's elbow and Snowfur disappeared.

Oakheart was next. "With this life I give you-"

"Open up, Mr. Fuzzikins! Nom, nom, nom!" Flashheart said and tried to feed Mr. Fuzzikins some of the potatoes she had.

"Flashheart," Oakheart said.

"Open up!" Flashheart squeaked, ignoring Oakheart.

"LISTEN TO ME!" Oakheart screamed.

Flashheart's mouth gasped open and she said, "Gasp! You made Mr. Fuzzikins cry!"

Oakheart looked down and said, "He's very good at masking his feelings. Anyway, with this life I give you jelly donuts."

He handed her a box of fresh jelly donuts. Flashheart turned and said, "OOOOHH, MR. FUZZIKINS! Have a donut!"

Mudclaw was next, and he just handed her a bazooka that she wanted in Chapter 1. "Yay!"

Finally Russetfur walked forward. The last life. The last gift.

Russetfur handed her an Abraham Lichon hat. "YAY! YAY! YAY!" Flashheart screamed, and tossed all her stuff into the Ferrari.

She was no longer Flashheart. She was Flashstar now! :3 YAY!


	8. O Invisible One or Blazefire for short

**New Whatever C-C-Cats!**

**Rottedheart (sent in by River Where Water Flows) - pure-black she-cat, her fur is so black that its bluish, with blood-red eyes. She is emo, she has random outbursts of scary and dramatic phrases. She LOVES Hawkfrost and Thistleclaw and would like to have a threesome with them. She is feared by all except for Flashstar and Fallenlight, and is Flashstar's assistant.**

* * *

><p>"WHAT WAS THAT!" screamed Hailstorm.<p>

"It was a fly," growled Cinderstar.

They were driving back to the studio in Flashstar's Ferrari, with Mr. Fuzzikins eating bunny food and sitting on Flashstar's lap. Hailstorm, Owlstrike, and Cinderstar were sitting in the back, while Sandtail rode in the front with Flashstar.

"MR. FUZZIKINS, STOP BITING ME!" screamed Owlstrike and she chucked the rabbit at Flashstar.

It wrapped around Flashstar's head… and she was driving.

They turned and swerved and then finally Sandtail ripped Mr. Fuzzikins off Flashstar.

Flashstar ripped him off her head and suddenly she screamed.

They were heading strait towards Brittany Spears!

What was she doing there?

Flashstar screamed and swerved, then stopped beside her. "Oh, hey, Rottedheart!" Flashstar said.

Rottedheart jumped in the backseat and Flashstar asked, "You get my jelly donuts?"

"Yes," Rottedheart said, her eyes like slits. Hailstorm, Owlstrike, and Cinderstar shrugged away from her, which she grinned at, revealing bloodstained teeth.

Mr. Fuzzikins rested on Flashstar's lap and Owlstrike asked, "UH- who's R-Rottedheart?"

"Duh! She's one of our newest recruits," Flashstar said, not paying attention to the road.

Rottedheart shouted suddenly, "Life sucks!"

Owlstrike raised an eyebrow at Flashstar. Flashstar whispered, "Dude, she likes Hawkfrost and Thistleclaw. I've met them. I can hang out with her."

Rottedheart nodded.

Owlstrike was about to say, _Fine. _but at that same moment, Hailstorm screamed at the top of his lungs, "FLASHSTAR-TREE!"

Flashstar turned in time to see a maple tree before Sandtail grabbed the wheel and swerved.

After having a 5 second heart-attack, Flashstar said, "See? We lived, and Mr. Fuzzikins is ALL RIGHT!"

She grinned at her bunny.

Idiot.

"What was that!" Flashstar screamed and looked around.

A booming narrative voice of no concern.

"What can we call you, O Invisible One?" Flashstar asked.

Uh… Blazefire.

"Ok!" Flashstar said.

Keep the story going, Flashstar. I need reviews.

"Uh… alright?" Flashstar replied and then started to drive again. Finally they returned to the Whatever crew.

She hopped onto the Giant Boombox of Awesomeness and yowled, "Hey, yo, everyone! COME HERES!"

Everyone gathered. Duskfire screamed, "BLEE BLOOP GLOB SWQIU!"

Everyone stared at him.

"Ok," Flashstar announced, "Now, since I am now Flashstar, I needs to tell you all the new deputy! And that deputy is…"

Her gaze rested on Badgergrowl.

"It is Mr. Fuzzikins!" she squealed.

"WHAT!" Splashkit called out.

"What will we call him if he dies! Mr. Fuzzikins-Star?" snarled Thornshadow.

"Yeah, and technically we can eat him!" Luna yelled.

"Fine! Owlstrike -" Flashstar began, and drew in a huge breath- "Shall be the new deputy!"

"Wow you have quiet a last name," said Hailstorm.

Owlstrike said, "Dude, I'm Hispanic/Jamaican/American/British/African."

"Not Chinese?" Lightfall asked.

Owlstrike looked at her like she was crazy and said, "WHAT! Do you think I'm crazy or something?"

"Yes, yes I do," Thornshadow hissed.

WITH FLASHSTAR AND ROTTEDHEART…

"I want to buy the rights to Warriors!" Flashstar said.

"No, you can't," Rottedheart said slyly.

Flashstar screamed, "BLAZEFIRE, WE NEEDS YOU!"

Yes? *puts evil taking-over-the-world plans away*

"I wanna buy the rights to Warriors, but Rottedheart says no!" Flashstar pouted.

No. You can't. You're a cat.

"An incredibly awesome cat," Flashstar corrected.

Shut up.

Flashstar began to tear up. "YOU JUST RUINED MY WHOLE DAY!"

*sigh* Here, have a cyber-cookie.

"YAY!"

* * *

><p><strong><span>WHATEVER CREW<span>**

**Leader: **Flashstar

**Deputy: **Owlstrike

**Co-Hosts: **Badgergrowl, Eaglepaw, Azuraclaw, Half-Face (from time-to-time), Luna, Cloudsong, Pebblecloud,

**Helpers: **Lightfall, Flamepelt, Ruinedheart, Snowfur, Cinderstar, Twilightfur, Darkbird

**Personal Assitants: **Rottedheart

**Cats That Randomly Show Up: **Sandtail, Bearclaw, Goldfeather, Splashkit

**Backstage Cats: **Fallenlight, Duskfire, Thornshadow, Hailstorm

**Real Warriors: **Lionblaze, Hawkfrost, Thistleclaw, Firefart, Sandstorm, Blackstar

**ATTIC CREW**

**Leader: **The Phantom

**Deputy: **Clawface

**Henchmen: **Leafspot, Techheart, Solar, Roseshadow

**Real Warriors: **Tigerstar, Darkstripe, Scourge, Ashfur, Bluestar, Mapleshade,

**Random Warriors That Flash Just Now Made Up: **Coalfang, Antwhisker, Frogleap, Twoface, Yellowtooth


	9. Fun Things To Do In WalMart

**This is things that we all want to do in Wal-Mart! YAY!**

**New Whatever Kitties:**

**Spottedfern (sent in by Random Falcon) - tortoiseshell she-cat with white paws and green eyes. She changes from time-to-time, but at the moment she's wearing a Chinese dress. Extremely cheerful; a little too cheerful and it annoys cats. She's the personal assistant of Flashstar.**

**New Attic Cats:**

**Echoflame (sent in by Random Falcon) - ginger she-cat with a lighter underbelly and muzzle, with ice-blue eyes. Wears a peach colored shirt with green pants, and has a necklace with a pearl on it. She's NOT the people-person, er- cat, and snaps at every cat when they are just asking a simple question. The reason she wears the pearl necklace is because her dad gave it to her, but then her loving dad died, and she wears it because she honors her dad.**

* * *

><p>Flashstar gnawed on her cyber-cookie. Suddenly Spottedfern raced up to her.<p>

"We need you to go to Wal-Mart, here's a list of things we need," Spottedfern said and cheerfully handed her a list.

"WAIT! Mr. Fuzzikins… uh, Sandtail, you watch him!" Flashstar yowled and then jumped in her Ferrari.

Sandtail grinned and took the fat rabbit to her room.

Weird.

Flashstar put on her shades. "Milk, cheese, tuna, DS games, more shackles…" she mumbled to herself.

Then she crashed through the wall at Wal-Mart, stepping out of it, and said, "Its parked."

Then she grabbed a cart and walked around for a bit. Suddenly she saw something sparkly! A knife! YAY!

No, not yay.

"WHAT!" Flashstar said.

No, not-

"I heard you, Blazefire. Come on, let's buy some guns from the hunting place!" Flashstar said happily.

As Flashstar walked over there, some guy tossed a booger at her.

She turned and yowled, "^*!*!( YOU *!#&, GO AND #!% YOURSELF!" Then she attacked him. FUN!

SANDTAIL'S MOMENTS…

Sandtail walked over to Mr. Fuzzikins, a knife and a fork in her paws.

"Yum, yum, yum…" she said and was about to stab him when…

He grew 50 feet.

Mr. Fuzzikins' eyes glowed red and he roared, "SANDTAIL, YOU CANNOT EAT ME! I AM MR. FUZZIKINS, THE OFFSPRING OF A BUNNY! THE ADOPTED BABY OF THE GREAT FLASHSTAR, AND IF YOU DARE TOUCH ME…" He huffed and then roared louder, "I HAVE LAZER EYES!"

And then he shot lasers at her. Sandtail screamed and raced off. Then Mr. Fuzzikins shrunk back to his cute little self.

BACK TO FLASHSTAR…

"Shorty like a melody in my head…" Flashstar was singing. "Nananana, everyday! Like my iPod stuck on reply, reply, reply!"

Flashstar.

"Huh?" Flashstar looked up and said, "Oh, right. Shopping. OOOHHH! SPARKLY!"

She raced up to the makeup. She saw a black tube of makeup and wrote on the wall with it: FLASHSTAR!

Yay!

She then saw a guy running at her on a skateboard. She ran and the guy followed her. She kept running until she turned… and then the guy was screaming and blood was flying.

Flashstar yelled, "AND DON'T COME BACK!"

She walked around for a few moments. She found the toothpaste and thought, _Oh! I could make my breath smell better! _

She stared at it for a long while. Then she screamed and raced around in a circle, "THEY ARE OUT OF SHINYFANG!"

So she simply grabbed Sparklyfang. Eh, it cost less and was better, but Shinyfang was funner to say.

Then she bought a bike, a new tire, two potatoes, one of the Wal-Mart guys, and a wheelchair.

Then she began to walk around some more, pushing her cart.

The Wal-Mart guy was not a guy at all… it was Brittany Spears! WHY WAS SHE STALKING FLASHSTAR?

She thought it would be funny to do the following: she walked behind some aisle and yelled, "RAPE!"

No one came to her aide. So she found some clothes and tossed them around. "HELP!" she screeched.

She heard footsteps coming towards her. She raced away.

She then walked around suspiciously and hummed the theme song: _Mission: Impossible._

Then Flashstar walked up to some cats: they were Squirrelflight and Leafpool, who were shopping.

"Hey, want to do a duel?" she asked.

"No," they both said.

"Your ugly," Flashstar said, and they shoved her. Flashstar took out her weapon- gift wrap- and began to smack them unconscious with it.

People raced towards them, huddled in a circle, raising money and yelling out bets.

Flashstar finally yelled, "I WIN!"

Flashstar found a blanket and tied it around her shoulders. "I AM BATSTAR! COME, ROBINWING, AND LET'S DEFEAT PENGUINFACE!" **(A/N: that was to fit in with the Warriors theme. It's Batman, Robin, and the Penguin)**

Flashstar saw a reddish tabby run up and say, "I'm here, Batstar!"

Flashstar said, "Ok, good, Robinwing. Now, get bent."

"WILL DO!" Robinwing said and began to bend his leg.

Flashstar walked away.

She saw one of the Wal-Mart guys and pulled her cart over. "ROBINWING, WATCH MY CART!" she yelled and walked over to the guy.

Seriously, she said, "We got a Code 3 in the Toys."

"A rape?" asked the Wal-Mart guy, and he raced away with a gun.

Hmm.

She then saw Lionheart, Whitestorm, and Bluestar. "Hey, let's play soccer!" She said and took out a soccer ball.

Bluestar said, "The fairy king shall avenge the bear prince and then the sky will turn into a rainbow because the potato of magic said so."

Flashstar turned and Lionheart said, "She's off her meds."

"Ah," Flashstar said, "Lionheart, your on my team."

They kicked the ball and then it went soaring through the air and hit a TV, breaking it. The TV caught on fire.

"IT WAS BLUESTAR!" Flashstar yelled and raced away.

She walked towards the liquor aisle. She popped open a cork and drank it.

"Hey, buddy!" she said, her words slurred, "*hiccup* I like pickles as well!"

Tigerstar walked up and said, "Ok… Tequila or…" Then he saw Flashstar.

"PARTY!" he shouted and popped open the cork of a wine bottle. He drank it and soon Dustpelt, Darkstripe, Longtail, and Crookedstar raced up to join them.

Flashstar started dancing with Darkstripe, then walked drunkly towards Tigerstar. She whispered in his ear, "Darkstripe and Longtail… *hiccup* are gonna try to mate with you!"

Then she turned and started towards another aisle, when Longtail and Darkstripe leapt at Tigerstar and pulled him to the shadows… O.o

She saw a random stranger and said, "Oh, your back for more, huh? Well, wait here while I get my shotgun."

Flashstar saw a tabby tom shopping and she said, "OMSC, is that you! OMSC, it is!" The tom turned and she kissed him, then slapped him. "WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?"

She then walked away proudly.

Moron.

"Hey, I'm the one breaking the rules here!" Flashstar snarled at Blazefire.

She then grabbed her stuff and walked back to the check-out center.

The cashier said, "Ok, that'll be 100,00 dollars."

Then she said, "Oh, I didn't see these grapes. That'll be 100,010 dollars."

Flashstar slapped a five dollar bill down and said, "I only got five." Then she took her stuff and drove back to the Whatevers.

**WHATEVER CREW**

Leader: Flashstar

Deputy: Owlstrike

Co-Hosts: Badgergrowl, Eaglepaw, Azuraclaw, Half-Face (from time-to-time), Luna, Cloudsong, Pebblecloud,

Helpers: Lightfall, Flamepelt, Ruinedheart, Snowfur, Cinderstar, Twilightfur, Darkbird

Personal Assistants: Rottedheart and Spottedfern

Cats That Randomly Show Up: Sandtail, Bearclaw, Goldfeather, Splashkit

Backstage Cats: Fallenlight, Duskfire, Thornshadow, Hailstorm

Real Warriors: Lionblaze, Hawkfrost, Thistleclaw, Firefart, Sandstorm, Blackstar

**ATTIC CREW**

Leader: The Phantom

Deputy: Clawface

Henchmen: Leafspot, Techheart, Solar, Roseshadow, Echoflame

Real Warriors: Tigerstar, Darkstripe, Scourge, Ashfur, Bluestar, Mapleshade,

Random Warriors That Flash Just Now Made Up: Coalfang, Antwhisker, Frogleap, Twoface, Yellowtooth


	10. Blazefire Pays A Visit

**NEW ATTIC CATS:**

**Wildheart (sent in by Gentleheart) - a well-built black tom with amber eyes. Wears a navy-blue sweat shirt and gray baggy pants, with black sneakers and a red-and-black hat. He's very evil and cruel, and would do anything to see blood.**

**Robinkit (sent in by Gentleheart) - a dark red tabby tom with amber eyes. Wears a white T-Shirt that says DIE on it, and black shorts. He's cruel and cold for a kit, and loves to see cats die, but is very close to Wildheart (his father).**

* * *

><p>"SANDTAIL!" Flashstar yowled from her room.<p>

Silence.

"Sandtail?" Flashstar said after a while.

More silence.

"Blazefire, what do we do?" Flashstar asked.

Dude, its what do _you _do. I'm just your humble narrator.

Flashstar stood, and put on her biker clothes. She then grabbed a sword and stepped outside. Her friends, tied with rope, stood before her with tape on their mouths.

Mr. Fuzzikins and the Attic Crew wobbled out from the shadows.

"KILL HER!" yowled the Phantom.

Wildheart and Robinkit raced forward with knives. Flashstar took out her sword and slashed at them. Robinkit flew backwards and then Clawface raced at her. She kicked him but there were too many. "TIE HER UP AND PUT HER IN THE ZOMBIE CLANS!" yowled Mr. Fuzzikins, in his 50 feet and red eye stage.

Later…

"Now, bring her allies to me, and I will let Wildheart and Robinkit slaughter them," said Mr. Fuzzikins.

"Oh Evil Mr. Fuzzikins, what do we do?" asked Half-Face.

"About what?" Mr. Fuzzikins asked.

"That," Half-Face said and pointed to the wall.

Flashstar ran into their room with the zombies.

The zombies surrounded the evil cats and Mr. Fuzzikins demanded, "How did you escape?"

"One thing you did wrong, son," Flashstar said.

"What is that?"

"I'm Flashstar, the star of _this _story," Flashstar grinned at her. Mr. Fuzzikins roared and lunged at her.

OH NO YOU DIDN'T! *changes to cat form*

A black she-cat with flame-colored patches raced at Mr. Fuzzikins and pulled out a dagger. "Get away from her," Blazefire spat.

Mr. Fuzzikins snarled, "So you have the guts to change to a warrior, Blazefire?"

Blazefire replied coldly, "Yes, you counted on one thing."

"What is that?" Mr. Fuzzikins said.

"I control the story," Blazefire said and she took a huge eraser. Grinning evilly, she erased Mr. Fuzzikins.

"COME GET SOME!" Blazefire screamed at the Attic Cats.

The Phantom dropped his sword, as did his cats.

"We are sorry," Half-Face said, and pushed Goldfeather towards them, "Take her."

Blazefire said, "I need a bribe, too."

"Ugh," Solar said and she dug out a $100 dollar bill.

Blazefire glared down at Wildheart and Robinkit, who averted their eyes from her piercing blue gaze.

"And now," she said, "You will become my servants. If you try any funny stuff, the eraser kills you!"

They crouched lower.

"And also, we offer free weapons and a place to live," she said, "So… Wildheart and Robinkit, get yo sorry butts to your dorm!"

They raced away.

"The rest of you, follow Owlstrike, Hailstorm, and Fallenlight to the Weaponry Room. And now I will fade in a cool dissolve," Blazefire said and faded back to her narrator-ness.

Yay!

* * *

><p><strong>What should happen next? O.o I feel bad asking my reviewers, but my brain is hurting! I AM RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS! ITS AWFUL!<strong>

**WHATEVER CREW**

Leader: Flashstar

Deputy: Owlstrike

Co-Hosts: Badgergrowl, Eaglepaw, Azuraclaw, Half-Face (from time-to-time), Luna, Cloudsong, Pebblecloud,

Helpers: Lightfall, Flamepelt, Ruinedheart, Snowfur, Cinderstar, Twilightfur, Darkbird

Personal Assistants: Rottedheart and Spottedfern

Cats That Randomly Show Up: Sandtail, Bearclaw, Goldfeather, Splashkit

Backstage Cats: Fallenlight, Duskfire, Thornshadow, Hailstorm

Real Warriors: Lionblaze, Hawkfrost, Thistleclaw, Firefart, Sandstorm, Blackstar

Slaves (former Attic Members): The Phantom, Clawface, Leafspot, Techheart, Solar, Roseshadow, Ashfur, Bluestar, Echoflame, Tigerstar, Darkstripe, Scourge, Mapleshade, Coalfang, Antwhisker, Frogleap, Twoface, and Yellowtooth


	11. PUT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR

**Special thanks to Wildheart the Warrior, Random Falcon, and Sierra of the Stars for sending in things that can happen.**

**HERE'S THE ORDER:**

**1. Bass Prow bit**

**2. Wildheart's idea**

**3. Sierra's idea**

**4. Random Falcon's idea.**

**NEW KITTIES:**

**Demoneye (sent in by Rottedheart of the River) - He has golden eyes that makes most she-cats fall for him. he has a black pelt like Rottedheart but not blue. He also has red stripes of fur making him look like a tabby. Wears male skinny jeans, and goes around shirtless. He is sexy and says dirty-minded things. When sad his eyes turn green, when angry his eyes turn blood-red. He is the bodyguard/slave of Owlstrike and Flashstar.**

**Branchtail (sent in by Random Falcon) - brown tom with amber eyes. He is a random prophecy cat that spills out random prophecies about cotton candy and rainbows.**

**Softheart (sent in by Sierra of the Stars) - beautiful white she-cat with wide, fluttery blue eyes. Wears a fluffy pink ball gown but on special missions wears camo. Her favorite line is "I know you want meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" She's bit a stalker.**

* * *

><p>"We're going to Bass Pro!" Flashstar announced as they all jumped into the Ferrari.<p>

They drove towards the nearest Bass Pro.

Flashstar, Branchtail, Demoneye, and Softheart began to look around. "Dude, look! FISH!" Softheart screamed.

"I LOVE FISH!" Flashstar agreed and they jumped into the tank. The giant snapping turtle (a.k.a. Muffin!) began to attack them.

They walked out of the tank and looked around. There was a human-made mountain with wolves, bears, and caribou on it. Water was making a waterfall down it, and there was an elevator.

"LET'S RIDE IT!"

**IN THE ELEVATOR…**

Flashstar was inhaling and exhaling deeply. Demoneye walked towards her and put a paw on her shoulder, and said, "Its ok."

She was too frightened to punch him away, and she gasped, "WHAT IF IT STOPS?"

She then yelled, "MUSCLE SPASM!"

And kicked. Her paw lodged itself at Branchtail, and he spilt his soda over the elevator buttons.

The elevator stopped.

"YOU LIED TO ME!" Flashstar screamed at Demoneye and punched him.

Demoneye's eyes turned red, but he hissed, "Its ok! Someone will come and save us!"

"I like gravy!" Branchtail agreed.

Softheart said, "We can sing a song."

Flashstar was raking her claws down the glass, trying to get out. Her fur was fluffed out, and she was screaming bloody murder.

"Let's sing the Banana Song," Softheart began, and started to sing: "PUT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR! A BANANA IN MY EAR? PUT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR, AND WATCH ALL YOUR WORRIES DISSAPRE! PUT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR!"

They all started singing, well except for Flashstar. Finally she grabbed Softheart's foot.

Softheart's knife-sharp high heel busted open the glass, and Flashstar jumped out.

"!" She yelled as she fell.

The others jumped out after her, and Blazefire changed into cat form.

"*sigh* My work here is never done," Blazefire said and put on a fishing hat. Then she took out a fishing pole and fished the cats out.

"Let's go find the others," Blazefire said.

"WE'RE OVER HERE! WE BAGGED OURSELVES AN ELK!" yelled Flamepelt, and they saw that they had knocked over an elk and were gnawing on it.

"BANANA! BANANA! BANANA! BANANA! BANANA!" screamed Owlstrike and she put a banana in her ear.

Yay! :3

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><p><strong>The "Put a banana in your ear!" is from Charlie the Unicorn on Youtube. CHECK IT OUT!<strong>

**PUT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR! AND WATCH AS ALL YOUR WORRIES DISSAPERE, IF ONLY YOU PUT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR!**


End file.
